there was a trapeze. enough said
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
