I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
