Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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