Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
