Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
