Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize