Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
