I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
