I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
