you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
