You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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