i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
