So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
