Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
