I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
