what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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