Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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