Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
