If i come over, it means nothing
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
