margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize