508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
