dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We talked him into tasing himself.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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