now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
