Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
