I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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