I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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