did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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