I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
