Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Drunk is a universal language darling
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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