I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Randomize
