the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
