i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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