I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
