i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
