well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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