Its about making memories worth repressing
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
