yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
