so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize