Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
