great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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