thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize