it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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