YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
