she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
