i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
