lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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