He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
