what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
