yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize