Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
