Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize