Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
