How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
