I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
