Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
