still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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