We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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