He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
