he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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